If you haven’t ever played this game before – either with real or fictional people – then you’re about to have the time of your life! We actually did this in real time (yes, with REAL pieces of paper dumped into an actual bowl) – the gist of our conversation is here, but the full thing (laughs and all) exists in the voice recording if you want the full experience. Either way, hope you enjoy our tag!
The contenders: Clay Jensen (Thirteen Reasons Why,) Hardin Scott (After) (Nish: laughs with evil undertones) and Steve Rogers/Captain America/ ‘America’s Ass’ (Steve needs no introduction)
Ngoc: Okay, well we all know who I’m going to marry. It’s easy for me – marry Steve, kiss Clay (BEFORE I marry Steve, because I’m NOT going to cheat on Steve, because we all know how I feel about that) and just…
Nish: Yeah. I think I’m the same. Kiss Clay in my youth, marry Steve when I’m older and then, find a VERY tall cliff-
Ngoc: *laughs in expectation*
Nish: -and introduce Hardin to it.
Ngoc: Hardin, cliff. Cliff, Hardin.
Nish: Happily ever after for everyone.
The fighters: Jace Herondale (The Mortal Instruments,) Dorian Havilliard (Throne of Glass) and Ron Weasley (Harry Potter)
Ngoc: Okay I’m cliffing Dorian cos…I don’t really like him that much. Who is husband material?
Nish: I think I like Jace more so I probably want to marry him?
Nish: But Ron is also very sweet.
Ngoc: Ron is very sweet.
Nish: And he seems to be very good husband material.
Ngoc: Yeah, as far as Cursed Child goes. This is so hard, it’s only the second one and we are stuck already.
Ngoc: I feel like I’d marry Ron. I feel like personally for myself – I say this like if they were actual people, I’d have a choice in this – I’d marry Ron. And kiss Jace.
Nish: I think I’d do the opposite, I’d marry Jace and kiss Ron.
Ngoc: Well that’s fine. Because if we both wanted to marry Jace it wouldn’t work (note: in literally the next question we both marry the same person and have no problems with that. If you came here for consistency, you came to the wrong place.)
The contestants: Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries,) Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights) and Noah Shaw (the Mara Dyer/Noah Shaw series)
Nish and Ngoc: Well. *Incomprehensible noises of agreement* We are marrying Noah.
Nish: Would I rather kiss a vampire, or someone I really don’t know anything about? Like he seems very into…(Nish forgets the name of his love interest in one of the most famous books to exist) what’s her name again?
Nish: Ah Catherine yes. Yeah he seems very dramatic.
Ngoc: I feel like, if you are going to one time kiss…Damon would be a great –
Nish: -he seems like he’d be a great kisser. And he’s very attractive.
Ngoc: He is very attractive.
Nish: Also as I was saying to Ngoc before, his (Heathcliff’s) name has Cliff in it. So… how can we not throw him off the cliff? It just makes sense.
Ngoc: *In cry laughter* Our defence in court. His name is Heath-CLIFF.
Nish: *Also in cry laughter* He was asking for it!
Us in court: WHAT DO YOUY MEAN THAT’S NOT A SOLID DEFENCE?!
The bachelors (who will get the final rose?!): Will Herondale/Nish’s husband (The Infernal Devices,) John Ambrose McClaren (TATBILB) and Klaus (The Vampire Diaries)
Ngoc and Nish: What an interesting group.
Nish: I mean I’m obviously marrying Will because we’re already married.
Ngoc: Yeah that’s fine. I’m just going to insert myself into this marriage.
Nish: We’re the same person it’s fine. John Ambrose is so sweet.
Ngoc: John Ambrose is so sweet. Wait maybe I would marry John Ambrose because in real life, Will is not really my type. It’s fine, you can have Will. I’ll marry John Ambrose. I’ll kiss Will, obviously not while you’re married to him. Oh and I really like Klaus too!
Nish: I KNOW!
Ngoc: But we talked about this, he’s immortal.
Nish: We did.
Ngoc: If we push him off a cliff would he come back and kill us?
Ngoc: If we explained the situation though?
Nish: He doesn’t seem like a very reasonable guy.
Ngoc: What if I accidentally trip and fall on him and he like, rolls off the cliff, and I can brush it off as an accident? Because that would be believable.
Ngoc: Can he read minds too, I can’t remember?
Nish: He had a lot going on.
Ngoc: Okay maybe like… no but then…. who else-
Nish: Exactly! I feel like the problem is like John would be WILLING, he would be willing to go off the cliff.
Ngoc: But then he’d never come back.
Nish: And he’s so sweet.
Ngoc: I’m going to marry John. Will probably would survive a cliff push as well but I could never-
Nish: –if you push Will off a cliff I would push you off a cliff, which would be not ideal (said with laughter, but 100% serious)
Ngoc: Okay no, I am going to marry John Ambrose, kiss Will and push Klaus off the cliff.
Nish: I’m going to marry Will, kiss John and then hope that Klaus doesn’t come back. Maybe he hits his head and like, gets amnesia. It’s all I can pray for.
The participants: Augustus Waters (The Fault In Our Stars,) Peter Parker/Spiderman and *Ngoc begins freaking out because she glimpsed the paper in Nish’s hand* Jem Carstairs/Ngoc’s husband (The Infernal Devices)
Nish: So um. Yeah. *Giggles*.
Ngoc: I’m not going to marry Peter because he’s like 10 years younger than me.
Nish: He’s a baby. I just want to point out, I think he could survive a cliff fall.
Ngoc: That’s what I was going to say. I could explain the situation, “I’m just going to nudge you off the cliff but, use your spidey abilities.”
Nish: He’d be fine. But I also like, just don’t even want to do that to him.
Ngoc: I’d be like, this is what’s happening. He’d just throw himself off the cliff, I wouldn’t even have to push him, and then he’d come back again.
Nish: He’d be fine.
Ngoc: We’re rationalising murder now.
Nish: But he’s SO attractive though.
Ngoc: You can marry him.
Nish: I can’t push Augustus though, he’s already gone through –
Nish and Ngoc: -SO. MUCH.
Ngoc: I’m going to marry Jem. And kiss Augustus. And Peter and I are going to work something out.
Nish: *distressed noises* Oh my god I don’t want to hurt Peter.
Ngoc: He’d probably even enjoy it.
Nish: I really want to marry Peter Parker, but I can’t do that.
Ngoc: *life coach mode* If you want to marry Peter Parker, marry Peter Parker. Do what your heart tells you.
Nish: I think I would marry Peter because I love him, and I’d kiss Jem because he’s cute and I couldn’t steal him from Ngoc, and then I’d push Augustus Waters…
Ngoc: We’d just…build a really big trampoline. There are no rules to this game (note: there are definitely rules. We’re just ignoring them. Not even sorry.)
Nish: I’m married to Peter. He’ll make a web. He’ll catch Augustus. It’s fine.
Ngoc: We’ve got this!
Nish: We bend the rules so no one dies.
The players: Peter Kavinsky (TATBILB,) Chaol Westfall (Throne of Glass) and Julian Blackthorn (The Dark Artifices)
Hellooooooooo Peter K.
Ngoc: Do you remember much about him (Chaol)?
Nish: No, so that’s not good for him, let me say that.
Nish: I mean, I feel like this one’s a lot easier. I’m going to marry Peter, because I want to spend the rest of my life with his beautiful soul. I am going to kiss Julian because he’s cute. And I really don’t remember Chaol. So. Sorry Chaol.
*Ngoc rant begins*: I liked Chaol at the beginning of the series, and then I feel like he went through two rounds of character assassination.
Nish: So he’s maybe going off the cliff?
Ngoc: Maybe. But also he deserves the world. But like, would I throw Peter or Julian off a cliff? Also just saying, Julian probably could also survive a cliff fall.
Nish: Oh yeah Julian could. Peter Kavinsky could not. Peter is a beautiful butterfly, he’d be not okay.
Ngoc: I’m going to marry Julian.
Nish: Could Chaol survive?
Ngoc: No he doesn’t have any powers so he probably couldn’t. But he’d also probably like, jump off a cliff for you.
Nish: Okay, noble.
Ngoc: He is very noble. OH MY GOD.
Nish: But Julian and Peter! What are you going to do Ngoc?
Ngoc: Julian Blackthorn has been through so much there is no way I am throwing him off a cliff. And he has his siblings to look after. So I’m going to marry Julian, kiss Peter and then I’m going to-
Nish: Gently roll?
Ngoc: Cliff book 5 Chaol. Specifically. He does something that is literally like, my DEALBREAKER. (I later realise it actually happens in Tower of Dawn, father please forgive me for I have sinned)
Nish: Oh no.*tsk tsk*
Ngoc: In Tower of Dawn, his own spin-off.
Nish: In his OWN spin-off? For shame. And I think if you know Ngoc, you can probably guess what that is.
Ngoc: What could it be?
Ngoc at every fictional character who cheats on their fictional partners because she can’t control how emotionally invested she is
And that’s a wrap! We hope you enjoyed that (no like, we really really hope you enjoyed it because we’ve already recorded part 2 – oops?) Let us know if you agree/disagree with our choices and we’ll see you soon for another round of the ultimate moral dilemma game – Marry, Kiss, Cliff 😉
Also we reached 50 followers the other day and we wanted to say THANKS SO MUCH for following!! We love each and every one of you, and you’ve all been so welcoming of us to the book blogging community. We hope you know how much we appreciate it, and appreciate you putting up with our lack of consistent posting (med school life,) rule-bending shenanigans and consistent love of Noah Shaw.